The History of the Grand Game of Mini Golf

Miniature Golf is an ancient game that has been played on the American continent for centuries.

Though historians disagree on the first appearance of Mini Golf, the first recored tournament was held in Oaxaca, located in the Yucatan Peninsula of present day Mexico. The Aztec ruler Puttputtemoc sanctioned the first game as a tribute to the sun god Quetzelquatl. While very similar to the game played today, this ancient form utilized precious cactus stalks for clubs and shriveled hearts for balls, which were left overs from human sacrifices. It was considered to great honor to be either a player or a ball in this ancient contest. There were however, no windmills.

Windmills were added to the game when ancient astronauts carried the game with them to Egypt, the birthplace of the windmill. Pharoh Put-ter-hotep was so taken with the game that he decreed that their signature windmills would be used as a devious trap to keep balls from reaching their spiritual land of peace and slumber, also known as the hole.

The sport of Mini Golf spread to most of the ancient world on the ships of Sumerian and Babylonian traders. It gained popularity for a brief time in the Roman Empire. It is said that Hadrian imposed the game upon the British Isles to Romanize the barbarian tribes. In defiance, the Celts lengthened the game to use large tracts of land and they replaced the clever Egyptian traps with simple dirt pits. This act gave rise to the bastardized sport of Maxiature Golf, which is still practiced today by the Japanese and wealthy white Americans. And Tiger Woods.

The game of Miniature Golf as it is played today was devised in 1894 by Dr. James Naismith, who was serving as athletic director of the YMCA Training School in Springfield, Massachusetts. Naismith, who also invented the little known game of Basketball, needed a safe game of wit and skill that could be played on the rooftop of the YMCA. He realized that if one stopped requiring human hearts for use as balls, people were far more likely to volunteer to play. He replaced the human heart with a spherical cork, and the modern game of Miniature Golf was born.