Mini Golf Smackdown Rules and Stuff

Competition Classes and Scoring

All players are entered into the individual competition. As per standard golf rules, the lower the score, the better.

Players may organize teams to compete in the team competition. A team's score is the average of all players in the team. All players must complete the course or the entire team will forfeit. A team can be no smaller than four players and no larger than six players. This rule is frequently ignored like a dog in a hot car in the supermarket parking lot.

There are no ties allowed in the Smackdown for first, second, or third place. Should any individuals be in contention for one of these slots, those players of equal score must face off in a Final Smackdown. The players in queston will decide to play a single hole again. That hole will be played until a winner emerges. The Final Smackdown scores will be recorded separately from the final couse scores.

Similarly, ties are not allowed for last place. Only one player can win the honor of Suckage Supreme. Should there be contention for last place, a Final Smackdown will occur between all players in contention. The worst score takes the honor of last place.

The team competition invokes Final Smackdown only for the positions of first, second, and third place. There is no team award for comming in last. In the case of a Final Smackdown between teams, each team in contention will elect one player to play on behalf of the team. These delegates will engage in Final Smackdown.

General Rules, Penalties, and Conduct

Any part of the putter may strike a ball. Players must line up and take their first shot from behind the yellow marks at each hole. Players may putt from any point they choose in that area.

If a ball should leave the playing surface, all players may point at the offending player and laugh like a donkey on crack. The ball must be placed at the closest place to where it left the course.

Any ball putted in the hole must stay in the hole to be considered holed out. If a ball bounces out of the hole, it is not considered holed out and play must continue. The player is within his/her rights to bitch that he/she was robbed and that the hole sucks.

If a ball is struck twice, or while it is in motion, a one-stroke penalty will be incurred and the ball must be placed at the last spot from where the ball was putted. See? You play like a jackass and you get punished.

A player is entitled to move his/her ball the distance of the longest side of the scorecard from any brick. That is if you want to be a wuss. A real player would just suck it up, but you can move the ball. Wuss.

A player is not allowed to move his/her or her ball from any of the hills, angles or slopes that are covered by carpet. This goes even if no one is looking.

If a player's ball rolls all the way back to the starting point but does not leave the playing area, play will resume from that point. If a ball rolls off playing area, he/she may restart from the starting point. If this kinda thing happens a lot, you should consider playing better. Each player gets one do-over for a first shot rollback.

Should any question arise during play, play should be stopped immediately and the question shall be put before players at the current hole. If the players are unsure of the proper response to a question, then we'll just have to find a way to get on with our lives won't we.

All players are required to play their own rounds throughout the tournament. There shall be no player substitutions or switching involved once the tournament has begun. Any player involved in substitutions or switching shall automatically be disqualified from the tournament.

Show up to the course on time.

Equipment

All balls and clubs utilized by players in the tournament are subject to the guidelines and approval of the Tournament Director. All host courses will make available to players certain balls and putters approved for tournament play. Players also have the option of utilizing their own balls and putters provided they are the type approved for play under PGA rules and guidelines and both are inspected and approved in advance of play by the Tournament Director.

Players shall not be permitted to switch clubs or balls at any time during the tournament unless they think the club or ball has some seriously bad mojo on it. Any player who switches clubs or balls without audibly saying, "It's not me it's this goddamned club," or something to that effect will be playing dirty.

2006 Addendum that Likely No One Will Read: How to break ties in lieu of a Final Smackdown

When awarding medals for first, second, and third place in individual performance, if there are multiple players with tied scores and no Final Smackdown has taken place, medals will be awarded by some bullshit random selection. The losers of this selection will then contend for the next lowest award tier until all contended players receive medals or all medals have been assigned. In the case of tie scores for team placements, the team with the larger number of worst performing member will be awarded the trophy. In the case that this does not solve the contention, the team with the largest number of players shall be deemed the winner of the contended position. If this doesn't solve the contention, there will be some bullshit random selection. Losing teams will compete for the next tier as described per individual medal contentions. If there is a tie for the most hole-in-ones, the winner shall be the player with the best score. If this does not resolve the contention, then the medal will be awarded by some bullshit random selection.